I was having severe anxiety yesterday regarding this situation and I am trying to bring more peace to it today. I know it will be a back and forth type of thing; I expect one day I will be more at peace with it than the next.

I think I will ruminate on why I have become a people-pleaser all these years, though I am learning to stand up for myself more and more (a benefit perhaps of being in my 40s!) I have a wonderful support system in another of my sisters-in-law (my brother’s wife) and she has been a gift to me right now.

I appreciate your advice about sitting down with my husband and deciding are we are on the same page with this or not. It is his brother, after all.

As for myself, I can’t really see going to visit them in the future and they will not be welcome at my house (unless things change drastically). Luckily they live 16 hours away so we don’t have to bump into each other at the grocery store. My parents live half an hour from them so if my husband wants to take the kids over for a visit, I can stay at my parents house.

Thanks again for responding, Anita, I appreciate it.