Dear Allyson:

It was a great loss for you, losing your mother who was your best friend and you did so much together.

I often read people stating, like you did, that they “seem to attract very toxic people”- people like your ex friend who treated you very badly. I don’t know if the case is that people attract rude people… or that there are many rude people around, so you end up interacting with some because of the sheer number of people who are rude (when they are angry/ faced with distress).

Thing is to end interactions with a person who is rude to you and not tolerate or endure rudeness. It doesn’t matter if she is rude to you outside of church or in the possible future context of a church, better have minimal to no interactions with her.

I would say: keep reaching out to new people, cautiously, watch for their behavior when they are angry or otherwise distressed– that is the time to learn best if to keep interacting or not.

I hope you post again.

anita