Hi Allyson,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you are going through.

In terms of making new friends, know that you are not alone in that struggle. When we become adults, many people feel that they already have all the friends they will ever need and don’t open themselves up to making new ones. Other people have been hurt in friendships and shut themselves down from making new ones because they are afraid of being hurt again.

In my stage of life most of the women I meet are moms, and I’m a mom too, and we get so busy with our families and responsibilities and jobs and whatnot that we just don’t have the time or mental energy for new friends (or even our previous friendships, often we let them slide).

I am from another country and moved here 12 years ago, my husband is in the military and we move a lot. So making new friends is not easy. Most of the people I meet become acquaintances and never a close friend. I think I’ve come to accept this. Also I’m an introvert so I shy away from making close friends anyway.

I’m not sure if this is helpful but it might give you a perspective on how it isn’t easy to make new friends and that most adults find it hard so you are not alone.

One thing you could try is making a penpal. There is a website called penpalworld dot com. I made a friend from Norway and we chat back and forth. It’s an outlet and is not fraught with too much anxiety because you will likely never meet them in person. Perhaps join a grief support group, too. It might be comforting to be able to talk with people about the loss of your mother in an encouraging environment.

I agree with Anita about being cautious with new acquaintances. You don’t really know people and how they will behave when they are stressed or angry. Guard yourself and your feelings cautiously.

Peace to you, Allyson!