Dear lost_star:

I like your clarity of thinking and I agree with your analysis and understanding, for example, your understanding that he is channeling his anger to his sister because he believes it is wrong for him to feel anger at his parents.

You wrote that you wish he had this understanding but that “he is too caught up in his situation”- basically, I think, he is caught up still in his childhood need to feel safe being his parents’ child. If he was to see his situation clearly, he would have to … clearly see that his parents were dishonest with him, self serving, manipulating him to serve their interest, to his detriment.

A child needs to believe that his parents are interested in his (the child’s) best interest, not in their own to the child’s detriment. To believe otherwise is too distressing.

I know the thread you are referring to, and yes, you are preventing suffering in your life when you don’t get involved in a situation like this. Some suffering is unpreventable. Better prevent what is possible to prevent.

anita