Dear Natasha:

Your thread makes me think of the saying “work wiser, not harder” but replacing the verb work with love: love wiser, not harder. It is about making choices thoughtfully, with forethought, thinking before we act about what we are about to do: will it benefit or hurt me/ the relationship, what will it make him feel if I do this, and then deciding what to do, if anything at all.

Preventing problems is always better than creating them and then trying to fix them. With forethought most problems people have  could be prevented.

anita