Dear Mary:

When you do what is right for you, when you behave the way you believe is correct, you are “still stressed out”. You wrote it is a “lose-lose situation”- when you do what is wrong for you, you feel distressed; when you do what is right for you, you feel distressed.

Thing is this is how healing takes place, a person engaged in the healing process does experience distress either way. If doing what is right for you felt good then you would have done that a long time ago!

The key to healing is to keep doing what you thoughtfully figure is the right thing for you to do regardless of the distress involved. Acting differently than before does feel awkward. It shouldn’t be a surprise, if you understand the nature of healing. Instead, you expect it.

As you keep choosing your actions so to benefit you, choosing the action that fit with what is right for you, over time, it will feel better, but not now and not any time soon. This is why persistence through distress is so important.

anita