Dear Christopher:

I don’t think there is anything at all that you can do. She is living with her mother right now and plans to live with her mother in the future.

You asked in your last post: “What can I do other than show her that I will love her no matter what? That I will be there for her no matter what?”

Notice this: it is most likely that her mother expressed to her that she (the mother) will love your wife IF … and will be there for her if… her mother’s love is conditional, and your wife is filling in that condition. What you are offering her is unconditional love, no matter what, no ifs.

Unfortunately, it is the conditional “love”, or love-like, that has the power over your wife.

Her mother’s power over your wife has a long history- it is well imprinted in your wife’s brain. Only long-term healing, such as in intense psychotherapy (while not living with her mother and likely having minimal to no contact with her) can … slowly, gradually lead to a rewiring of the brain. Nothing that you can do.

anita