Well an update. I left. As I told him he started to drink vodka from a pint glass and after about 20 minutes of talking put his fist through a mirror – my exit time…he went straight for the I know I’ve been bad but I can’t help it, it’s not my fault line. I understand mental health issues, it is part of my job to do so – but he is fully aware of his behaviours and makes no effort to seek help or to listen to other view points. He chooses when to behave inappropriately and when not.

Texting me descriptions of how things could be if I’d only come back no longer washes. I’m hoping he is starting to come to terms with it now – it was a shock and he’s not as far along the process as me.

thank you all for your advice and support. I’m happier than I have been in a very long time and putting my life back together!