It’s been more than three months since we last saw each other, six weeks since I finally broke things off with him and four weeks into NC.

I remember how he waved goodbye at the airport until we couldn’t see each other anymore. I remember how he looked at me the last night before I left, he promised me we would be ok and he would come and visit me soon. I remember how we used to do silly things together to make each other laugh. Those things are like yesterday and  I never miss him any less, even to this day.

We had a fight over the phone, then we agreed to break up before the conversation ended and never speak again since. For two months, I tried to reconcile because I loved him. However, deep inside there’s a voice telling me breaking up might be the best for us. We needed time apart to think about the relationship. Yes, every couple has ups and downs. Our problems were somehow too complicated.  I had struggled for two whole months before I finally sent him my goodbye email. I decided to let him go because I wanted him to be happy and I didn’t want him to suffer from my indecision. I wished success and all things he desires in life. He responded furiously to my last email. I thought it was best to leave him be. I understand why he was upset: He also realized there’s no turning back.

Then two weeks later I sent him another email asking him to take care of my possessions at his house. He willingly agreed and that’s it.

I feel I have done the best to end the relationship. No harsh feelings, no nasty words, but lots of regrets.

It’s his birthday today. I wonder whom he spends this day with, is he happy? I hope so much I could still be part of his life. But it’s over, it really is over.

Happy birthday, R. I wish you the best and happiness.

Connie