[MORE UPDATE]

I feel really distraught. I cannot really sleep or eat.

I felt like Gyunnie wasn’t in the same page as I was when I talked to him. We were on the same page for the birthday message.

But now, the way that he replied was just confused and cold. Confused at why I suddenly bring out stuff from the past, cold because he didn’t felt the same as I do.

I feel like I am going crazy – all my delusions and one sided relationship was really … false. It was never real. I talked to Gyunnie all this time as if he felt the same as me but he did not.

He moved on. After that birthday message, he moved on. I was just a part of his past, a distant memory that he does not want to remember at all.

Anita, I wish that this isn’t reality. That reality isn’t so painful. That it isn’t so hard to bear and live with.

I wish that I am not breathing at this very moment.

-Monica