Anita,

I cannot help but laughed when I read your sentence :

“…. poor Gyunnie, he must be suffering right now. He must be overwhelmed with his study load, and thinking about the upcoming military service… and that he lost one year and-”

I feel like you went inside my head and heard all those thoughts. This indeed very accurate, that is how I think about Gyunnie most of the time.

I have reached out to a couple of my close friends, and they said the same thing as you and Gyunnie said,

“Monica, are you out of your freaking mind? You almost died, and you are suffering so much every day yet you are still CONCERN about how HE is doing or feeling? Think about yourself, worry about yourself.”

I understand this concept and I am slowly grasping it as well.

You wrote : “it is not his pain you are experiencing, it is your pain.”

I am not really understanding this sentence. What do you mean by MY pain? I mean … I was feeling a lot of pain BECAUSE of him. His pain became my pain, correct? Please enlighten me.

You wrote : “Focus on how to relieve your own pain when you feel it.”

I am not sure how I can do this…

-Monica