Dear Mary:

I think that you have such strong feelings about the person you refer to as “the narc” that it is impossible  and impractical for you to be friends with anyone who is also a friend of “the narc”.

It is a strong possibility that the friend you lost really was “doing this so that you (Mary) wouldn’t be left on your own”- that this was her motivation and she was sincere about it. It makes sense to me that when you expressed to her your doubt in her sincerity, that it hurt her feelings, and understandably so.

Your distress regarding “the narc” is so intense, so dominant, that you are unable to think reasonably about the motivations of any of “the narc’s” friends. Therefore, as I wrote earlier, better give up the idea of voluntarily associating with any of her friends and associates.

I am also suggesting that you no longer express your thoughts and feelings about “the narc” and history of the going-ons with her with any other student or person who associates with her. Such will prevent complications, suspicions, and confusion.

I understand your distress and how that leads to your suspicion and anger. I know that distress and anger confuses the thinking.

Other than my suggestions here, already expressed, I wonder what else can be done to reduce your distress…?

anita