Dear Sharky:

You didn’t know. This is what betrayal is about, you trusted your husband. Trusting him (to not have an affair and to not take advantage of the Islamic custom of marrying a second wife) meant that you believed there was nothing intimate between him and the other woman. Now you know. The timing of the knowing is significant in evaluating the item of being a fool or not. If you had no evidence of prior betrayal of you, there was no reason to not trust him. Unfortunately you now have such evidence.

It is unfortunate that he presented the situation to you as him being merciful to this woman. It is in contradiction to his other claim to you, that what motivated him was “inquisitiveness and greed and convenience”. The selfish reasons read more honest to me than his claims of mercy for her, altruism.

If he is dishonest about his motivation and therefore, does not truly regret what he has done, then… what do you do?

anita