Dear Anita,

Your thoughts are very helpful to me. I know that us getting each other isn’t superficial – that is deep. Me and him both being quite sensitive and feeling a lot, I think none of us would benefit on a partner that isn’t like that too – or at least willing to understand and accept that. But, I do not mean to speak for him, it’s an assumption based on how I know him.

Regarding number 2, indeed, I haven’t gotten far enough in my practice to be able to benefit from it in many areas of my life, and so especially in the relationship with him. I also noticed my ego in the way that I’d worry about how other people perceived him due to him not caring much about how he presented himself. But, that is my problem. I love him and how other people saw him shouldn’t have mattered.

I did also have a fear that since he isn’t doing any meditation or mindfulness, we would grow more apart. However, I didn’t think enough about the fact that the way I’d change, would also certainly influence him in a positive way – and so our relationship. This is one more reason I fear our break-up was a mistake.

In my childhood and teens I was dealing with a lot of emotions and I was told to just pull myself together or get yelled at for it. So obviously I was very closed in and ashamed of struggling mentally. I was dealing with everything alone up until I met him and was able to open up.

Only a couple days after our break-up, a lot of fixable issues have come to the surface for me. In the middle of it I thought my feelings for him just wasn’t strong enough anymore, but the mixed feelings seem to have come from actions we didn’t take.

Helena