I think what Anita is saying in her last post is not that the relationship is in the past, but that there are too many years of negative feelings attributed to the other person to walk back from.

You mentioned the fact that when you met you were dealing with some pretty intense emotions from your son’s bio-dad and that your husband took the brunt of that anger. So i ask you this, what was your relationship dynamic? And is it possible to get something back that maybe never really existed in the first place? My point here is simply to say that there are layers and layers of hurt that both of you have contributed in building, and at some point peeling back those layers becomes too painful and raw, re-opening old wounds and picking at scars and scabs. Perhaps the best thing to do wouldn’t be to peel those layers back trying to un-do the hurt, but focus on the fact that there’s too much pain there to salvage and try and move forward into a friendly co-parenting type arrangement.

Perhaps the two of you are better off seeking happiness without each other?