Matt,

The question still remains unresolved. On the one hand, I am not actively dating around. On the other hand, my work (and hobbies) involve interacting with many men. I have known a lot of them for several years, and I normally know straight away whether I would like to date somebody or not, so even though some of them are free, it is extremely unlikely that I would ever feel anything for them. I meet some men whom I have never seen before now and then, but I don’t like that many men that easily, so there simply haven’t been many opportunities to verify whether I still fall for men with partners or not, now that some time has passed and I like to think that I have “done my homework.”

I can’t stand arrogant men, the Alpha males have never been my cup of tea.

Your insight may be very true in fact. So far I can only name one man whom I sort of like, and who is single (not that he is a good match for me for other reasons). But that man feels so comfortable on his own, enjoying his single life to the fullest and not seeking any relationship (everyone who is single and feels inadequate should learn from him!) that that indeed may be the confirmation of what you wrote and of what I read – I need to be whole and complete on my own in order to have a healthy relationship.

I want to think that I am whole and complete on my own, but so far I don’t have the proof of it in the form of a healthy relationship with a man.

But I am okay with that. No problem at all, leading an active life, enjoying the work I do and the hobbies I practise in my spare time.

Can it really be that in the given age group (35-50), there simply are few free whole and complete men? Most men would be married (even if they are whole and complete) and those who don’t have a partner, may not be “whole and complete” because of the breakup (met a guy like that, and I liked him – one more proof of it)?

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