Dear Ciara:

Because you watched porn at the time, when you were 12 or 13, those images were strong in your mind when you kissed that family relative, one year younger than you. You had sexual thoughts on your mind. It is those thoughts, those porn images that are the reason for your six or so years of repeating distress and regret over that kiss.

Sex is a very sensitive element in the human psyche/ brain. So much shame and curiosity is attached to it, that a kiss, one non-violent kiss can extend to years of shame. Without the shame and without the porn, the industry of porn, that kiss would be something you wouldn’t remember.

Are there other things you regret, other things (not sexual) you consider proof of you being unacceptable and undeserving of  “finding love and happiness and also trying to do good in the world”?

anita