Dear DP:

I know you intended the title to be about her past, not yours.

Clearly, the “simple solution” is for you to hook up with a couple of girls, to match her hook ups, correct?

But the problem is more complicated than what such a simple solution can resolve, I believe. Re-read your own descriptions of how much her past bothers you, so much so that you feel “lost, frustrated and trapped and am desperate …. with borderline panic attacks and unable to function”- when you are this bothered, this distressed over another person’s past, it is about your past, not hers. But I will abandon this inquiry regarding your past for now and ask:

What distressed you before her hook ups with the couple of guys, causing the relationship to be  “nothing short of a rollercoaster… the relationship was toxic, mostly from my end”?

anita