Dear Ciara:

The shame and discomfort about sex is widespread. Lots and lots of people share such discomfort, probably way more people than not. And it is a topic people focus on. It is tough to change the discomfort that is settled over the issue from such an early age. Talking about religion, even the bible has a focus on sex, shame established early in human history.

It is this long, long history of shame regarding sex that is the reason you “can’t get over something (you) did”, that kiss: there is shame attached to sex before marriage, to incest, and there you did it, a kiss with sexual thoughts attached to it, sexual images from the porn movies, and a relative.

I do hope you get over that kiss by understanding the context- the culture of shame regarding sex and the industry of porn, the two extremes, maybe one feeding the other, one promoting the other.

This topic, sex-shame-porn, is a huge topic, huge industry. I wish it wasn’t so.

Continue to evaluate and determine your own personal values regarding the topic. Share here, if you’d like.

anita