Dear Fruzsina:

This is an important decision to make- to break up or not, this weekend.

This is my understanding of your situation at this point: you suffer from anxiety. The “insanely close” relationship you have with your mother and sister is fueled by shared anxiety: you cling to them and they cling to you. If you were not significantly anxious and neither was your mother (or sister), then the closeness you would have experienced would have been of a different kind.

In your relationship with a man you expect the same kind of closeness (with adjustments, of course, it being with a man). Reads to me that you need a man who is present, in the same geographical location so that he is available every day. For this reason alone, your boyfriend does not qualify.

And if a man does live in the same geographical location, he needs to be a … needy man, needy of you, needy of your company. Did you experience in your past a romantic relationship with a man, in the same geographical location, one who needed to be with you every day, often, one who needed to talk to you often… one who was perhaps clingy?

If so, how did it feel, to you

anita