Right off the bat, first thought, I would say relax. I think it all does point to the fact that you are scared of that connection. You are setting the bar way to high for someone that outwardly says they want to find the love of your life, but inwardly all the signs point to not wanting to give up those alone times. Relationships are scary as hell, and I am by no means saying that you should settle for something other than what you really want.

I was alone for a long stretch of time as well and it sucks to, but there are lots of benefits to being alone. Learning to be accepting of it can be freeing. But  I still think you need to re-focus your thoughts about the process of meeting that man. I think that you are personally right where you need to be, have fun/live life/excel at work/follow your passions. The special someone will show up, and you know what; if he doesn’t your still going to be living a spectacular life. Sure you will be missing out on some things, but I am missing out on being able to travel to different locations, I am missing out on being able to fully immerse myself into my passion with photography, I am missing out on being able to drop everything and just go somewhere by myself, I can’t just quit my job and decide to move somewhere else just for the experience, there are things that because of my family just aren’t realistic anymore. But I am comfortable with that, because sometimes like you daydreaming about Mr. Right, I daydream about just leaving it all, packing my bags and buying a plane ticket to a foreign country and getting lost. But that is what daydreaming is all about, then my daughter will walk in the room and need something to drink, or want me to color with her, and I go about my day excited to see the smile on my daughters face.

Oh, one more thing. I am used to men making the first step. I made the first step myself with #1, didn’t end well. The farthest I can go is ask a question

What type of signal do you think you are giving the men that you run into?

My mother says that I need to be more feminine, like start painting nails (believe it or not, never painted mine – don’t like the look of it!) and learn to cook

I say you need to be yourself, honest and who you are, that is the only way you will meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, or even meet someone that you would be willing to spend anytime with. AS far as cooking, nah no big deal. I enjoy cooking, and get great pleasure cooking my wife a meal while she sips on a glass of wine with me.

And the ones I could see myself with are few and far between and are all taken. But then that guy said “Patience!”

See yourself doing what with? It all goes back to enjoying life, you might find someone at the shooting range who gives you tips on shooting, absolutely no physical attraction, but you respect their opinion. It would be worth hanging around them at the range interacting. Those are the guys who have friends, and most guys hang out with guys who are similar to themselves. You find the type of guy who has the values/interests that you share and one day Bob from the shooting range brings his friend Mark to the range, and your heart goes all aflutter. That’s how it happens, out of the blue. Does that make sense about why I say that you should still find people to interact and have fun with even though there is nothing physical.

I hope that all makes sense, don’t play the game anymore, accept where you are, have fun and enjoy life.

Thoughts

Matt