Dear Monica;

I read your post until the part with your questions. I will read that part after I reply to the first. What you wrote makes perfect sense, it is clear thinking Monica at her best, very clear, consistent, sensible and wise.

You wrote: “I feel like I provided a few informations to you when I was very mad and defensive over someone trying to replace my ex boyfriend so the information does not seems so accurate right now.
He never actually said anything about my “pretty face” …It was all an assumption that I believed in my mind… I have this very negative mindset”-

What this means to me is that sometimes Monica throws … temper tantrums, and when she does throw those, as in some of your posts, you provide inaccurate information, you sort of rage. At those times what you communicate in words cannot be relied upon as accurate or sensible or anything you believe in when you are calm.

I intend to remember this point. And now, to the second part of your recent post:

“1. How can I make Jake understands this?”-  I don’t think you can, not as long as he believes that it is possible for him to become your boyfriend. If a past friendship can be resurrected, it can be done only if you make it very clear to him, in no uncertain terms, and very assertively that a boyfriend/girlfriend love relationship between the two of you will never be, telling him something like: Jake, I will never be your girlfriend. I am not attracted to you. I like you as a friend only. Never more than a friend! Only once he believes you, then maybe a friendship can be revived.

“2. Jake has never directly confessed, so me bringing this out to him first would be very rude and presumptuous.”- you mean you are not sure? Then ask, don’t state “facts”, ask to verify and proceed from there.

“3. I have described everything in details, do you think I am wrong for having a very clear standards and put Jake on the friend-zone?”- no. You are not wrong. Ask, verify (#2) and communicate your clear standards to him, that will be right.

“4. I still want to continue being his friends…”- fine, see my reply to #1,2 and 3.

“5. Even If I am attracted to him, our relationship won’t work out, our personality is way too different and I already ‘knew’ too much about him, both bad and good things, because we have a very deep and personal relationship as friends already”- if you present this argument to him, it may motivate him to prove you wrong. This argument is not congruent with the clear, no uncertain terms about it type of communication that I am suggesting: Jake, I will never be your girlfriend!

anita