Anita

What I probably meant back when I wrote that was I wasn’t allowed as a child to make many mistakes. Parents were not overly strict, but expected success. An example was that my grades growing up were paid a certain amount for A,B and C’s. The catch was that the only way to get paid was all A’s.

We have my loneliness as a kid. The prevailing thought is that I have never fit in in any specific group: smart kids, jocks, nerd etc.

I guess the problem I am having now is that I am holding my ex girlfriend on a pedestal and I cannot take her down. Even though my counselor (who I have been seeing since before that breakup) states that during the relationship I was miserable. My friends say the same thing: I was never happy. But my ex girlfriend and I never talked for more than 1-2 minutes about getting together more. It was immediately shut down as “I can’t do it”.

Not sure what else I can tell you right now.