Thank you Anita, you always have best things to say.

I do care about her very much. But, the images in my head does cause me pain. Every time we have sex, I picture her doing the same thing to her ex and I get very jealous and gives me unpleasant feelings. It also hurts me that before me, she went out on clubs and had casual sex at some point of her life.

I understand that this is my own head making myself miserable as she is nothing but kind and sweet to me. And, I do the same for her. I do care for her so much hence the reason why I keep these thoughts away from her. But, everyday is a battle. She makes me so happy when I’m just being with her, but it also hurts.

It helps the more I understand her past though. The more I understand where she comes from, the more it makes sense why she doesn’t see sex the same way I do. I see sex as something hard to attain and should only be done with special people. It hurts me that she did it with people so casually in the past.