Dear Lester:

Something to consider: sure it would have been better, way better, if you didn’t experience this distress in the relationship with her. But in absence of an immediate solution to this distress, it may very well be possible to manage this distress and focus (and keep refocusing, again and again) on the positive aspects of the relationship. This distress, you can think of it as an annoying itch, an itch in the brain. Feel it and know that you are able to endure it, that it is something you can live with and yet enjoy life, at least at times.

Practice this thinking, re-focus. See how it goes…?

anita