Anita,

I have to admit it is deeper than that, more than the fact that I invested myself in KU in general – I invested myself in Business School because of Gyunnie.

A lot of my close friends here are Business major, Gyunnie`s seniors (Business major) knows me very well, I have a very good relationship with Business major people even now.

I was emotionally involved when Gyunnie felt stressed out about organising a snack event before the mid term, there was a huge fight whether to provide vegetarian food or not with the other student council member, and Gyunnie was restricted with a tight budget (although Business school budget has the highest budget among other major, all my major provided during snack event was some Korean traditional snacks, while Business school provided food like Burger, Sandwich, Pizza and Cola)

I helped Gyunnie ordering like 30 pans of Pizzas, and he needed to get some kind of a big discount to save budget so we had to buy it on a Tuesday and had to pick it up ourselves. Yes. 30 pans. You read it correctly.

I have mentioned how I let Gyunnie`s position as the president of student council defines me, it became my self esteem.

I was the student council president`s girlfriend. That validated me as a person.

Even now truthfully, it still validates me in a sense. Every time I feel distressed or when I do not have any confidence, I would tell myself this :

“Monica, stop embarrassing yourself and Gyunnie. Lift up your head. Straighten your shoulders. Walk. Walk confidently. You were Business School`s president girlfriend. You are his ex girlfriend now, and even though Gyunnie is no longer here, you are still here. Do not let it show, Gyunnie was liked and respected by a lot of people. By being happy and being “normal” –  you are honouring Gyunnie’s legacy and reputation. You do not want people to remember Gyunnie as that president who had a crazy ex girlfriend. Stay strong. You can do this. ”

It sounds … bad probably but this mantra works for me somehow.

-Monica