True. This has been very emotionally heavy on my heart. The problem is mostly his mom, controlling everything about him and every time I try to explain it he blows up saying no-one controls him. She’s brainwashed all her kids which is very sad to see.  He says he doesn’t want a divorce and would be easier if we could just move in with him but again mommy controls everything..even my marriage.  My dad tried a few years back to help him to get his dl. My husband only had one epilepsie seizure when he was 5..only once and she forced the medicine without discussing what was best with my fil and against his will. Apparently he grew out of it over time. when my dad paid for his tests and passed, instead of being happy when we told her, she flipped and kept stating he has it etc even with the current results saying he doesn’t. She was in major denial. We’re still trying to get the results off his records so he can drive but again hes not responsible enough and doesn’t get the ball rolling. I’m not there so it’s not getting done. Another example, he use to be a typical overly hyper (add) little boy then she put him on meds and he became a quiet zombie literally and of course she was thrilled. His dad wasnt happy about this which resulted in their divorce.  I know ultimately it’s my decision with him. I just want to make the right choice for my kids and myself. We still have feelings for eachother and I have on occasion brought up seeing a counciler for us but he kinda shrugs that off and states I have problems and go see a therapist. It’s hurtful.  I have celebrated two anniversaries by myself with zero gifts or any acknowledgment. It’s depressing. A friend of mine says he’s abandoned us and should file for abandonment, even my parents say so and are now saying I should divorce. At this point of time even his step mom is saying the same thing. I’m hoping a few nice folk can give me some suggestions or guidelines on my situation.