Dear Natalie:

Yes, I do have advice: don’t confront him with his/ your stands on racism, the environment, and so forth, not if you want a better relationship with him. It is not his fault that he feels the way he does. His emotions on these issues are a result of existing neuropathways in his brain that when get activated, they get activated. Better not activate them.

Of course it is your right to choose a different man… with different neuropathways, but if you choose to continue this relationship, better accept his pathway for what they are. These pathways, the ways they were created, are usually not a matter of character or thoughtful choices, but are a result of what he had heard at an early age, heard and recorded. What is a matter of character is acting-or-not on these pathways. Behavior is subject to choice, not feelings.

anita