Dear Quirine:

Welcome back. I think you should live where you can have these three things:

1. Not living with your parents.

2. Effective psychotherapy.

3. Finances for your basic needs.

You are distressed where you are at. Naturally, your brain is looking for a place where it can rest, where it can feel that euphoria it is looking for. And it found it in Spain. Can that euphoria be maintained if you moved to Spain? No.

Different locations have their advantages and disadvantages, such as weather, economical conditions and so forth. But none has the advantage of resolving childhood distress.

It is my understanding, from your previous threads, that your relationship with your father is still, and understandably so, hurting you. It is that relationship, not the relationship now, but the one that was that needs to be addressed seriously. It may be necessary that you have no contact with him during the time that the relationship is addressed in therapy.

anita