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Dear Anita,
How do I go about letting him go in my heart? In my head I have no desire to go back. I feel repulsed by the thoughts -how it was HOT for four weeks to no communication within a month. It was my choice to step away because I didn’t want to be fed crumbs any more. The waiting was so excruciating that I just couldn’t wait another week or two for an email that I decided to walk away without an explanation. I’m sure he’s upset about it, that’s why he didn’t respond. All my close friends said they would ask if everything is ok – out of common courtesy. While it is sad to think about it sometimes I truly feel liberated and should be grateful that he’s respecting my boundary. I don’t have unrealistic hopes of us, in fact, I have no desire to see or hear from him. I’ve watched many Eckhart Tolle videos on how to let go and be present and while they help me and I feel good every day, negative thoughts still creep up. It is ruining my inner peace with lack of good sleep and a pulsing heart beats. I know that I didn’t just developed a heart condition and a sleeping disorder. I’ve scheduled an appointment to meet with a therapist to go over why I attract emotionally unavailable men. I realized that having an EU father and an overly critical mother make me seek approval. The more I was denied of a relationship, the more I wanted it, from this guy, hence, why I hang around. Even knowing this fact, I can’t seem to forgive myself today. I feel so angry today. I can’t wait for the day when this is not on my mind to think about anymore.