Dear Wanderlust16:

From reading your last post, even before you mentioned anger, it occurred to me when you mentioned the “pulsing heart beats”, that you are angry. Anger may very well be what has been keeping you awake at nights. I understand your anger, “how it was HOT for four weeks to no communication”.

I was wondering yesterday what could possibly explain it, on his part, how he can switch like that, how he an ignore you after being so close to you, going from one extreme to the other. Possibilities: he may be angry at women and has been punishing you by this switching. Scary thought, isn’t it? We don’t want to believe that people intend to harm those who love them. Unfortunately, it happens. Another possibility, he hates closeness, despises intimacy, but enjoys it as well,  so he “binges” on it on vacation and avoids it otherwise.

In any case, this is not working for you. The anger, your understandable anger needs to be addressed, acknowledged, processed. Maybe going as far back as growing up with your emotionally unavailable father and overly critical mother. Maybe the emotions there are not done being processed.

anita