Dear Eliana,

To be honest, we have had ‘the talk’ already. We have had that talk multiple times, and we both are aware that we both do not know how our friendship will turn out. But, my dilemma is still the same – Do I let go of such amazing friendship we developed over the years? I honestly do not know the answer. I wish I did. But I am okay not knowing where it goes because I’m done trying to control every aspect of my life. I will let it unfold on its own, and see if we stay in each other’s lives.

That being said, I have a learnt a lesson: be deliberate about who you love and in what way. In this case, the whole “friends with benefits” situation wouldn’t have hurt me if I was deliberate in fully committing to it, but I guess strong feelings towards her as a friend mixed with physical intimacy led to this disastrous combination. From now on, I will only move forward once I fully recognize my feelings. And I will try to do anything in life with full-heart.

I will surely miss her though. She had been my everything. Now, when she leaves, she will take that all away with her, and I will be left exposed to the harsh reality.

I will survive though. Maybe even thrive if and when I let someone else back in my life!