Gagan:

In your last post you asked: “am I a bad person in general”? I don’t have enough information to determine that, to give you my answer to that. What I did learn recently, not earlier than Nov 8, page 7 of your thread, is that you lie and that you do so habitually.

To lie means that a person states something he or she knows is untrue.

Why would a person lie on a website, posting anonymously, for what reason, one may ask. In your case, I believe, you lie because you are in the habit of lying. It is business-as-usual for you, an every day way of living, and so, you didn’t make an exception to it here.

On Nov 8 you wrote: “I wrote all that crap to dump my bad decision onto her…I was angry at her for not coming back to me. I said some things that were exaggerated”

As if the fact that you had a motivation to lie (“to dump my bad decision onto her”) makes it okay to have lied. And, as if, the fact that you were angry made it okay to lie.

You kept the same lie going for pages while I kept asking you about it. Finally you admitted that lie, but you didn’t call it a lie, you called it an exaggeration, and you pointed it out that the lie was “true to some degree”. These are your efforts to minimize your lie.

To exaggerate means to magnify beyond the limits of truth; overstate. Problem is you went way beyond the limits of the truth. Way beyond the limit of the truth is a lie, not an exaggeration.

But that particular lie, that she expressed to you throughout the few years relationship that she was always right and that you were always in the wrong, was not the only lie. Let’s look at how you express your feelings throughout your thread: “My heart sank to the bottom of an eternal ocean…my heart is tearing apart into a million pieces…It’s a feeling of a thousand elephants on my chest… My chest hurts every waking second. There’s a mountain on my chest and mind every second…every day, every thing, every season, every picture, every smell, every taste, every little part of my life today reminds me of her…Omg, I can’t breathe… My chest is heavy. So heavy….The pain is unbearable!…omg… My brain is getting fried. please pray for me. This thing is eating away at me!”

You exaggerated your feelings. Of course, no one knows how it feels to have one’s heart tear “into a million pieces” vs a hundred pieces, or ten, or … just two. And no one knows how it feels to have “a thousand elephants” on one’s chest. No one can live and tell about having … just one elephant on one’s chest. Or a mountain. And you did breath, and the pain was bearable, and your brain didn’t get fried.

Is this only a style of expression or are these lies… one may ask. I think it is both, a style and lies. The motivation is: look at me! Look at me! See me suffer!

Your focus is not on your suffering, it is on the audience. It is on who you are expressing yourself to. And so, you focus on making the largest impact, producing the maximum affect in the audience.

Your social grace, politeness, ingratiating behavior as expressed in this thread is not authentic.

What are the other lies: the woman this thread is about, a roommate, probably exists, but the relationship probably was not as intimate as you described, she may have been just a roommate all along and the change lately is that she is about to get married.

You probably didn’t break up with the other women in your past, as you claimed.

You have expressed to her your suffering over her arranged marriage, again and again, telling her how much you suffer, using the same words, most likely, as you have used here. And that is probably the reason why she came to see you, worried about you. This is probably why she hung up the phone on you, tired of your going on and on and on about your suffering.

I may post again later, more thoughts perhaps.

anita