Dear Anita,

I have been told by some friends that I exaggerate my feelings. But I never believed them until you brought it up as well. I think I do sometimes lie. Perhaps habitually as well. I do not like conflict. I do not like to fight. So, I would rather say something that the other person wants to hear so I do not have to be confrontational. I very often apologize to people that I do not like just so that they do not walk out on me or argue with me. One of the examples is one of my current friends. We have been friends for long, but recently in the past 4-5 years, I came to know that he doesn’t always have the best interest of the other person. But, to mitigate my loneliness, I would very often just praise him falsely so he remains in my life. I have also been told by friends that I am overdramatic. Again, true. I think I make everything into a dramatic event.

But that is not to say that I faked my feelings for her. Those were genuine. I loved her (still do) with every molecule of my body (notice the dramatic use of words).  But I can’t help it. I just received a snapchat from her just now that says “Adios Philly”. It is creating a sinking feelings in my chest – a hollowness and pain. I do not know how else to describe it.

Everything boils down to this – I regret letting her go for no reason whatsoever. I literally had no reason to let her go besides that I was too blind to see the future together. Again, not exaggerating. I feel like I made a huge mistake and that I will never find someone like her. – not even close. She is wonderful.

g