Dear Gagan:

I re-read and studied all your posts on this thread. This is my understanding:

To live Truthfully means to live in accordance with Reality. When you live untruthfully, you feel lost and confused. You have lived untruthfully for many, many years and so, you are lost and confused. Truth is a Guide in life, and you don’t have that guide.

Without Truth, you find yourself saying things and doing things and you don’t know why (“She asked me whether it would work out, and I always told her that it wouldn’t (I had no reason to say that)…she met another guy. I fully supported her…I wish I had the answer to ‘why and how……I did not know what was happening. I still do not know what really happened…What is happening? … What is happening?…I do not know what I’m doing!”)

Without Truth, same things happen again and again, you don’t know why and you learn nothing (“about 8 years ago when I broke off with my gf at that time and she was getting married –much similar to what is happening now. I felt pretty similar to what I am feeling now. Then later once again, the same events occurred. I broke off both those times…Situations like these happened to (me) multiple times, where I took a decision and then backtracked and then again went that direction…I cry, I regret, and then find myself living a lonely life. It has happened over and over and over again, not just with the relationships, but friendships as well”).

Without Truth, you don’t know if you can trust another or not (“She could be manipulating me as well. I’m not sure”), if a person is right or wrong at any time (“Made me think that she was always right. She still says that she is always right”).

As to why you haven’t been truthful: you don’t value being truthful. What you do value is getting along with people, avoiding confrontations with people and keeping people in our life. You do not stop to consider whether what you are about to say or do is truthful or not. If it will promote getting along, you will say or do it. If it may cause a confrontation, a disagreement of some kind, you will not say or do it.

You are not a habitual liar, you are a habitual non discriminator of Truth vs. Lie. In other words, you habitually do not consider whether something is true or not. It doesn’t matter to you.

You wrote: “I do not like conflict. I do not like to fight. So, I would rather say something that the other person wants to hear so I do not have to be confrontational. I very often apologize to people that I do not like just so that they do not walk out on me or argue with me…to mitigate my loneliness, I would very often just praise (a friend) falsely so he remains in my life“- you say things you believe the other person wants to hear, not what is true to you. You apologize not because you believe you did something wrong, but so to keep the person in your life.

Again, Truth is of no relevance to you. It is not what you value. What you value is getting along, avoiding confrontations, keeping people in your life.

Unfortunately for you, without the truth you end up in conflict, distress, alone and lonely.

I agree with you that you “overcomplicated the things …make everything in (your) life into a drama”-

Being truthful, to yourself and to others, would be simplifying your life. Being untruthful is this over-complication and drama that characterize your life.

I have no idea who your ex roommate/ girlfriend was or is. I don’t think you know either because you did not have a truthful relationship with her. I don’t think you had the opportunity to learn whether she admits fault or not because you always apologized. How would you know… how would you know anything about her other than how it felt when she cooked for you or cuddled with you.

Not living truthfully, all you go by is feelings, how you feel. This is pleasant… this is unpleasant. How do I feel better… help me to feel better…!

anita