Inky, thank you so much for your sagacious insight. Words cannot express my gratitude towards you taking the time to offer this. May good karma come your way.

(Anita, this information may be useful to you as well, if you are so inclined to read).

Inky, I will first entertain your point #4 about loneliness and me being “lonely, sweet, and open”. I possess a certain vulnerability, I suppose, due to lifelong rejection in interpersonal affairs and living an isolated life. The only men who have paid attention to me or conversed with me have been 50 years old or older. It is a reoccurring pattern. There seems to be a reoccurring pattern with the “type” of man. I had two engineers pushing 50 make relationship advances on me.  I was recently sexually assaulted by a 64 year old in public, who physically advanced on me despite me giving verbal non-consent. These men tend to be well-educated and thoughtful, that is the only characteristic I see. My long-term relationship is one of the best brokers in my area.

Throughout college and such, I never had any interactions with males of my own demographic. I am invisible and others immediately dismiss me… no matter what the demographic. I have extensive experience in volunteering for non-profits and when trying to connect with others (such as asking for conversation over coffee), I get let down immediately.

Point #6: “especially when she marries him, divorces him, and breaks his heart”. Many people have said similar to me, that the relationship will not last. Although nobody can speculate the fate of somebody else, it does seem odd that for a 63 year old man, he has never had a successful relationship. That is a long lifespan.  He even told me this explicitly when he first met me, that there is so much “wreckage” in his life.

Point #9: You are correct with the narcissism aspect of him choosing my birthday as the abandonment date. It hurts so deeply because we always spent our birthdays together in a special way and gave thoughtful gifts. It was just earlier this year when I celebrated his, so things feel “uneven” since this year my day was spent alone in the house crying. And feeling like my life was not worthwhile.