Dear Allison:

When your husband turns  to  your daughter for emotional support, he is  harming her. The kind of support he needs should be from a psychotherapist. A therapist would have the objectivity required to not get sucked into his emotions. She (or he) was trained at not getting too emotionally involved with the clients. Your daughter  does not have a way to protect herself from getting overly involved- she is … drowning in his pain. Is there any way for you to make this evident to him?

I think psychotherapy for the two of you, for the purpose of making this very point clear to him, will be  of benefit- anything to make this clear to him.

(Your affairs, the one at the beginning and the recent one, as regrettable as these are, must not be information available  to any of your children. They must be protected  from such information).

I need to get away from the computer  for  about 16 hours. Please do share  anything else that may  be relevant and I will reply when I am back.

anita