Wow, Matt! “Wow” because it has been a month and I have seen quite a few regular communications stop abruptly in life and on this very website as well, that I was prepared never to hear from you again.

To tell you the truth, I thought that you had showed her our correspondence, she became jealous and said that you ought to stop communicating with me, and you dutifully obliged. Ha-ha 🙂

Your unexpected response also proves a couple of my not-so-recent “discoveries,” the first one being that most of things are indeed in our heads and are real only there, and the second – that there is really no telling what will happen (even though there may be trends and tendencies pointing in certain directions).

I am glad you reached that state of peace with yourself. I have a great respect for meditation and breathing techniques though I was never able to learn the former no matter how hard I tried and the latter is something that I flatter myself I do naturally (breathing with the abdomen, for instance), so I can’t really credit them with my coming to terms with events in my life. I guess with me it is mostly getting tired of and bored with pouring out stuff and rehashing the same thing over and over again. I don’t even notice when or how I stop, only at some point I become aware that something is no longer bothering me or bothering me on a much lesser scale.

I did come across one interesting observation when thinking further about “types” of men that I encounter and feelings that some of them stir up in me. I would like to share it with you – maybe you will have some insights as to why it is so or what is what there.

You mentioned being busy at work and (before that) some significant changes in your work life, so I don’t know if you are willing to continue our exploration of various matters. If you do, I would also be very grateful to you if you could spare some time and recall and let me know what it was you wanted to share after reading my two super lengthy posts from a month ago.

If not, it is perfectly okay. I am really surprised at how my “most recent guy” changed physically (for the worse – and I can swear that there is no improvement in his relationship with his wife and he is not in love with anybody else (yet?)) in just two months. He almost looks like a total stranger now in his twitter pictures, so I don’t even know if the chemistry would still be there if we met. Frankly, I don’t think the chemistry would go away (all my other experiences show that it never does, when I meet men whom I fancied in the past, I can exactly say and feel why I fancied them, but those feelings merely have no more power over me), but I am even more at peace now than I ever was. I think the realisation that we can only help those who are willing to accept our help (and who are doing something themselves for that help to work!) has finally been fully processed by my psyche and “sunk in.” I can safely say that I am now letting life happen and am really taking life day by day and – wouldn’t have believed that a couple of years ago when I literally lived “through” my ex! – am happier than I have been in a long, long time, even before I met #1! I also think that now, for the first time in nine or ten years (!), I am not actively daydreaming about anybody at all.

I don’t want to rain on your cautious parade (and I don’t know what and for how long you are willing to put up with if neither of the other parties takes action, the status quo remaining), but I personally do remember how happy I was when my ex and I reached that stage when we lived just like any couple who are committed to each other would live in a long-distance relationship (I mean that stage when even the suspicious me stopped doubting him and his relationship with his wife, etc.) only to realise later that that just-one-step-away-from-divorce stage had been lasting for a couple of years with no further changes.

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