Dear Jenny Lynn:

Regarding your examples, great detail, good.

My input: he carries with him hurt and anger about having been, in reality, not treated as well as others. This was  his experience before he met you, probably as a child. Living with you he picks up on “evidence” that supports his belief: you treat Jimmy better than you treat him, you put make up for Jimmy and so on. Unrelated  to Jimmy, you don’t answer his calls, etc. He discounts true evidence, such as phone reception, and selects the evidence that supports what he believes.

You wrote  earlier that he loves every inch of you. Unfortunately, this belief of his does  and will continue to rain on  the parade of that loving. Such core belief can be changed in serious psychotherapy where  he addresses the foundation of this belief, his childhood experience, most likely. Until then, this is likely to continue. And you cannot lol this (I am using lol as a verb here) forevermore, can you? I am thinking you might end up walking on eggshells, having to qualify yourself repeatedly (as you already have in explaining Jimmy  is buying your dinner) so to avoid his anger.

Better have him move out, soon, I am thinking.

Regarding being submerged, being Glenn’s number one priority, if that is what you meant,  my thought is that the reactivation of I-am-treated-as-less-than neuropathway will keep him focused on you as  his #1 focus and number one source of triggered annoyance, but it is not the same  of making you his number #1  priority.

anita