Dear Saqqara:

Our childhood experiences are very powerful.

When your father was drunk and disappeared for days, maybe you responded by trying to please him, to make him happy so he doesn’t feel the need to get drunk and so that he will not disappear anymore. With your ex boyfriend, maybe  you continued  that role, it gave you meaning, it  is something you have done  in childhood and continued to do. That role comforted you a bit, as a child, that is, it reduced your anxiety.

With the new boyfriend, after the intoxication of being  in a relationship with a consistently loving  man, you became anxious for having lost your role. Like your life is meaningless now that you have no person to fix.

When you found yourself without that role, anxiety went up and  loving feelings disappeared. Can it  be it?

anita