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Jojo I feel like I could’ve written what you said! To answer Anita too, I would say that it is a combination of both, I am scared of being alone, but also scared of losing him because I had him in my life for about 2 years now.
I mean I have given everything to this guy, attention, love, care, even when I asked him why did he cheat? Was it because he wasn’t satisfied with me or felt something was missing, he said no nothing was missing and said it was because of the whole environment and friends he had, like everyone was not in so serious (i.e commited) relationships and had multiple partners etc, so he did as well and said it had nothing to do with me.
My problem is that I feel like even if I leave him, I will still feel sad about both being alone and what he did to me, because during this two years not only he lied to me but he manipulated me like crazy, when we used to talk before I knew he had cheated, he always used to be very aggressive and insulting saying I was paranoid when it came to girls and I had a problem.
I would tell him I can go on therapy if you want, and he used to say you shouldn’t talk about this with anyone but me.
I also feel soooo dumb and manipulated when I remember the moments I met his ex and she pretended like it was nothing, I mean she saw me twice after he cheated on me with her and she knew we were together.
Another thing that drives me insane is the fact that he was telling her (his ex) everything about what we used to do intimately together, EVERYTHING
I can’t process what he did to me, I can’t pretend like it was nothing, I can’t even tell myself I am going to forget about it and be fine, it hurts so much everyday, I compare myself to her and I don’t even know her, let alone the other girls.
I am thinking about therapy maybe that would help, did you guys go on therapy?
- This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Reve.