Dear Mae:

I agree with “should have been honest about how I felt”- if you were honest about liking him too, maybe you wouldn’t have felt bad afterward, and wouldn’t be motivated to make up for it by offering him sex. I think it will help you to be honest about your feelings and communicate honestly about your feelings to others.

Of course, better not continue to communicate honestly with anyone who is disrespectful toward you. Better simply not communicate with anyone disrespecting you. (If a person like that is a co worker, then make the interaction minimal and strictly work related).

Regarding “communicating feelings without sex”- I don’t think it is a “character flaw”. Maybe it is a matter of lack of practice. You will get better at it as you practice. As a matter of fact, you can practice right here, communicating your feelings on this very thread.

Would you like to share about your feelings when you were… made to believe, perhaps, that your feelings don’t matter, or that no one is paying attention to how you feel?

anita