Hi Lyssann,

Yes, my upbringing was pretty dysfunctional and abusive, also. I have recently got myself caught up in what seemed to be a perfect start to a relstionship for it to only do a 190 and be the totally opposite. I got so angry at myself for falling for such crap, so quickly, on the plus side, I noticed it really quickly and said goodbye. Would I have done this a few years ago, nooooooooo. So something I’m doing is working 🙂

I was never great at romantic relationships to be honest but for now I’m only going to focus on myself until I figure out who I am and then I will know exactly what is ok for me.

I have heard of Complex PTSD which is usually the effects of childhood trauma and I have looked into it a fair bit. I have some of the signs. One of the worst things that happens to me when I’m around too many people or crowded places is, my fight or flight goes off and its like I assume I’m in serious danger. I get really hot and totally panic it’s embarrassing and then my mind starts to tell me of all the reasons why people around me don’t like me, its awful. I think this is because I was around a lot of nasty judemental people growing up and its kind of stuck with me. I just need to wrk on it.

I have recently joined Yoga which I really like and the people in the class are lovely and it is only a small class, good for me. There are many ways to socialise I just have to find what is comfortable for me, at the moment not a lot but ill get there 🙂 But your right if I’m comfortable with me thats ok and the same goes for you 🙂

Thanx