Dear Buddha Buddy:

1. When you wrote that you and the children “are dumbfounded by the new emotionless figure she’s become”- does it mean that you share this with your/ her children, what you share here, that is?

2. Regarding your original post, you wrote there: “My wife has struggled with depression since long before we met…I was always supportive when I recognized her changing moods… I was the guy that kept the ship sailing through…I helped with her kids … I was able to help empower her in many ways over the years… She’s so lost. I’ve always been able to help her… I don’t know how to help her. She’s told herself she doesn’t want my help. How do I help her?… Do I wait out the hormones?”

This is my understanding at this point: you have viewed her and communicated to her your view of her as inadequate and incapable. Then you tried to help her. Problem is, that your communicated view of her as inadequate and incapable could not possibly be helpful and being as it is, cannot make any help you provide effective to her.

Your communicated view of her, as I understand it to be, is that she has been and is a victim of her early experience in childhood and of her hormones, a passive passenger on a hormonal ride. One incapable to rise above it.

anita