Dear Sophie:

Did I understand correctly: a year ago the monogamous relationship with him ended. For a year after the two of you continued a non-monogamous relationship, that is, he was dating another woman while still dating you. Recently you ended all contact. You have wondered for a while if over a year ago he was already dating this woman he is still dating. Did I understand correctly?

I also wonder about your feeling of shame that you mentioned: “I have this feeling of being ashamed”. Can you tell me more about this feeling?

anita