Dear Buddha Buddy:

Do I understand correctly: the two of you do not live together. You still work together but she is looking for a different job. She does not want to communicate with you in any way other than texting. She is not interested in getting back with you but did not mention divorce.

I am not clear about the children: each one of you has two children from previous relationships? Is there any co parenting going on, and do you see her in the context of the children?

She has a zen attitude, you wrote, and she expressed to you that she is focused on loving herself. She doesn’t want your help.

Reads to me that you have very little access to her, texting for one, being the only way to communicate. And it reads to me that she sees you as a threat of some kind, that is why she is limited the contact with you and maybe part of the reason she is looking for another job.

If she sees you as a threat to her well-being, then there is nothing much that you can do, as fear is a very powerful motivator, in her case, to stay away.

Let me know of your thoughts…?

anita