Dear Jenny Lynn:

Remember that you are not married. Glenn is not your husband. He is your live in boyfriend, a partner of sorts in life, but you are not married. What this means is that he is still auditioning only he doesn’t know it. You are getting to know him… more. At  one point, you will decide: is this the right man for me to marry.

I suggest you not only have a weekly financial meeting, but that you have a daily or twice weekly or so getting-along-meeting. In such a meeting, you can ask him to not complain to you about this or that, be specific, because it distresses you. Tell him that and he should comply. He can ask you to change something as well, and if he is reasonable (and is not just saying something tit for tat), you can choose to change that particular behavior.

You shouldn’t just accept whatever behavior he exhibits and try to not be bothered by it. Tell him and if your request is reasonable, he should accommodate you.

Regarding the big and small share: you are both these things: sometimes introverted and at other times extroverted. It is just that you approve of the second and disapprove of the first. I don’t think there is anyone in the world who is one or the other.

You fell in love with him and then got to know him better and you are still invested in him. He fell in love with you and got to know you more… and so, it doesn’t matter what got his attention first, there is always something people fall in love with while not knowing the person’s ways yet. What is important is to act lovingly to the person you believe you love.

What about this depression, tell me more about it if you want.

anita