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Hi Matt
Many people struggle with forgiveness. It’s important not to compare yourself to others. We all have different levels of coping skills. Some people can be severely abused and move through life without too much damage. Other people can have what seems like mild to moderate abuse and struggle with severe depression and anxiety. I struggled for many years to forgive my parents and had years of dysfunctional and toxic Behavior myself as a result of harboring resentment. I highly recommend mindfulness and meditation as a way to show loving kindness towards yourself. When you begin to show loving kindness towards yourself what comes from you will be love. The truth is, whatever we have inside shows up on the outside. An easier way to think of it is when you squeeze an orange orange juice comes out. If you have love and compassion towards yourself then you will show it towards others.Therefore it’s important to go inside first and love yourself exactly as you are. This means not feeling guilt of actions in the past or being too hard on yourself. Once you begin to let go of the criticisms you have against yourself the harsh judgements and negative feelings towards others will melt away. The bottom line is every single person is always doing the best they can at any given time. Your parents did the best they could with the level of Consciousness they had at the time just as you are doing the best you can now with the level of Consciousness you have. The beautiful thing about suffering is it does awaken us if we allow it to and we become more conscious. Once we realize that everyone did the best they could depending on their level of consciousness forgiveness is easy and in some cases, we go beyond forgiveness and we can just accept that everything unfolded as it should and the challenges you have are here to awaken you! I realized after years of abuse that the abuse was a gift to help awaken me and also make me more compassionate towards others. It’s not to say we ask for the suffering but if it presents itself in our lives then we must not resist the message that it is there to deliver. I’m sending you much love in my meditations today! Best maryrose