Dear Matt:

You wrote in your original post that your mother beat you in the past, that is, she was aggressive toward you. In your most recent post above, you wrote: “I’m sure my parents never intended to be abuse to me, it just happened”-

this is what a child would like to believe, that the parent never intended to hurt, that the parent’s intentions were always good and loving. It feels safer to believe this.  As adults we keep believing that, but we suffer for believing this. We suffer and our anger remains because it is not true, what we say to ourselves.

When your mother beat you, screamed at you and displayed such behavior toward you, she was angry. Anger was her emotion and it motivated her to fight, to be aggressive. When angry and acting on that anger like she has done, her intent was to hurt you, to cause you pain.

This is a difficult concept to accept, but if we reject it, we continue to suffer and continue to feel anger because our anger has not served its purpose yet.

Let me know what you think, if you would like.

anita