Dear Jenny Lynn:

I read both of your longer posts from yesterday attentively. You wrote in your second post that you are not afraid of Glen, “worst case scenario with him I have always felt was he would just leave and I would never see him again”.

You wrote that these behaviors you listed occurred within a ten months period, “more sporadic than persistent, and “only 1-2 are things that still catch my attention now. But mostly I ignore him”.

You wrote that the two of you look at each other’s phone, sometimes openly. In addition to looking at your phone he did a search history on your Facebook without your knowledge as well as looking at photos and videos in your Ipad without your  knowledge, on both occasions accusing you of things. He hid your bathing suit, counts how many showers you take, woke you up in the middle of the night interrogating you, hangs up the phone on you when he gets upset.

This is where it gets (and stays) creepy for me:

1. He drove/ drives by your current workplace to check on whether your car is parked there, where it is parked and figure whether you moved your car during the work day. You wrote: “I went home early and not say anything (to him) and he will text me like he already knows that I am home”.

2. He parked his car and watched you at your former work place. You wrote: “At my other job I clearly remember these weird times where he would literally watch me… as I walked out the building I looked over and I saw his car… I would get out of the building start walking and he just appear when I am almost at my car and sometimes be mad… he literally waited til I was in the car and turned out to pull up next to me and tell me I didn’t call him yet.”

3. He checked/ checks the locks of the door to check on you,  whether you left the home “by how many or which lock is locked..then ask me about it to see if I lie”

You wrote: “I don’t know the line between checking up on and WATCHING someone. But I find that sometimes he just has more information that I remember giving him or didn’t give him at all.”

because you ignore him and don’t pay as much attention to what he does than he pays attention to you, maybe you are not aware of how often he performs the behaviors you listed. Also, you shared before that you spend almost all your time when not working, at home, with him. In case you do go out in the future, with friends, more often than you do now, his activities may escalate then.

This is my suggestion: check his criminal record, what is public record, check whether he was charged with anything relevant and whether he received a restraining order before by an ex girlfriend, maybe.

Also, do a research, starting maybe with the police, regarding whether there is basis in reality to being alarmed by Glen’s behavior, especially #1,2 and 3. There are professionals out there, criminologists who study these things. No one can predict the future, of course, but there are statistics as to the behaviors often precede violent behavior.

And then you can make better informed choices.

anita